How To Stay Calm When You Are Freaking Out

By Sadaf Noureen

As much as you try to plan ahead, life always throws curveballs your way. You all have had those moments when literally nothing goes the way you thought it would. The detailed plans, the perfect scenarios they just never seem to pan out. Planning gives us a sense of certainty and eases our minds. That being said, there have been so many times in our lives when we have imagined things going a certain way but they end up going completely wrong or take a different path, as the past year for all of us. When things don’t go to plan, it’s easy to start freaking out. You might spiral into a negative place when things don’t go your way. You feel frustrated that your emotions seem to be controlling you instead of the other way around.

Even though it might seem impossible, you can teach yourself to stay calm when setbacks come their way. You just need to know what to pay attention to when it happens. We are going to share how you can stay calm when things don’t go as planned so that you can move on instead of feeling powerless. There are so many emotions that come up when something goes wrong: anger, frustration, heartbreak, fear, sadness. All of these thoughts start to go through your mind like, “Should I just give up?” and “Was all of the hard work I put in for nothing?” It’s hard not to project blame onto someone else and dwell on how things “should” have been.

Instead of going into a downward spiral, here are a few things that can help you when dealing with setbacks in your life:

Set Realistic Expectations: One of the ways you can prevent frustration is making sure you’re not expecting that everything will always go your way. Life has plans of its own, regardless of what your goals are. Hope for the best, but recognize that you will never fully be in control of the process.

Sit With The Frustration: When you feel yourself starting to freak out, it is important to let yourself sit with your emotions at the moment. Your emotions give you a better sense of what is important and of value to you. Give yourself a moment to gather yourself. Go outside. Tell whoever you are with that you need a moment. From there, let yourself accept the situation instead of dwelling on it. Whether we realize it or not, as humans, we tend to dwell on situations because we love the feeling of intense emotions . But when you dwell on things, it only intensifies the issue and gives power to the situation. Take back the power by creating awareness around your emotions and what has happened rather than using your energy to blame others or yourself.

Decide What’s Next: Sometimes it is hard to think clearly when you are dealing with a setback, but the quicker you can stop dwelling, the easier it becomes to see your next steps. Rather than resorting to giving up, think about what your options are. How can you move forward from this? Talk it out with others, whether it is asking them for advice or simply asking if they will listen while you talk it out. Get it out of your system in some way. When it comes to making a decision, choose the option or the route that will get you closer to your overall goal, even if it will take extra effort and time.

“You may not control all of the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

- Maya Angelou